This week I worked myself into a forth of worry over a project at work. I could feel the old adrenalin rush - this is important – I’m important. I damn well better worry about getting this right! What a load of pseudo-pious delusionary garbage!
A personal year of Jubilee is sort of like a Sabbatical from worry. And how is that working for you – you are probably asking. Well obviously not perfect. “Come unto me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest,” Jesus said. Not exactly, “Don’t worry, be happy,” but pretty close I think. I worry about way too many things --- about my job, about my kids, what my mother thinks, if I eat that cupcake I’ll never be thin, I really should study my Bible more, clean the house, do more art, get that craft project for my sister finished --- I really should relax more. I worry about that too. I’m a huge worry wart. It’s pretty obvious why I needed this year.
Is it possible to just stop worrying? To be honest it feels rather pious to worry – sort of spiritual. Worrying means I’m not partaking of that deadly sin of pride, right? I’m not being complacent if I’m worrying. I’m not having any fun either. I catch myself a hundred times a day falling off the wagon – Yikes! I really should be worrying about that. But I’m just plain tired of worrying. It’s exhausting. I am giving myself permission not to worry for just one year.
I love my job. It’s not perfect. Sometimes I don’t manage my time well. I’m not going to worry about it this year. God was very clear he’d provide so I’m going to trust that. I’m not going to worry about my kids. They’re not kids anymore and they really don’t need the burden of my worry anyways. I’m not dieting this year either. I’ve spent my whole adult life worrying more about that more than actually doing it any ways. So for a year I’m enjoying every bite I eat!
I love my job, my kids, my husband and when I quit worrying about all of them collectively it feels pretty good. So far the earth hasn’t come to a screeching halt.
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